Is it better to speak or to die?

 

Would I prefer to swallow till it is too much that it spills right out from the little dents and bumps of my teeth, or would I just spit it all out no matter how hard it might have hit the ground? Is it better to take what you have to say to the grave with you, or is it better to bury your feelings earlier and tell it all? But it is scary, to talk I mean. It takes bravery. yet keeping silent requires much more, a whole other sense of being. Will my thoughts eat me up alive if I just shut up, or will I forget them after a minute? Or a year. Or a decade. You can't delete words and most certainly can't rebound their effect. What is said is done. So, is it better to shut up and observe it all or be the one observed? I cry too easily, maybe it is because there is something truly broken in me. Maybe a chemical imbalance as some say but there has to be something that explains my tears.

Or, it rather is the words that are built up. Only, it isn't my mouth they force their ways out from.